Holding Both

After Everything, I Am Still Their Mother

An essay about adoption, grief, survival, and the quiet miracle of having both of my boys home this Mother’s Day.

May 10 • Holding Both - Maria Messer

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Holding Both: When More Than One Truth Lives in the Same Body

I'm Maria, creator of Holding Both — a Substack space where I write about motherhood, disability, grief, love, and the long, slow practice of letting…

May 1 • Holding Both - Maria Messer, Victoria, Amy J Brown, Anna De La Cruz, Donna Giles, Sara Clime, Haley Haddow, Bud Hager, mary beth kaplan🪶, Serena Menken, Chris B. Writes, and Cooky Howitt

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April 2026

The Body Keeps Speaking

I went to the mountains because everything felt loud. Not just the world—my body, too. What I didn’t expect was that a stranger would say something that…

Apr 19 • Holding Both - Maria Messer

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💬 Caregivers Who Are Parents: "Ask Us Anything"

Exchanging reflections; strengthening our community network

Published on Carer Mentor: Empathy & Inspiration • Apr 3

March 2026

He’s Coming Back - But Not Home

He’s coming back—but not home. After months in residential treatment, Carter is returning to Colorado—but not to the life we left behind. In this essay…

Mar 29 • Holding Both - Maria Messer

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The Week the World Shut Down

Six years ago this month, four days before the world shut down, I had an appendectomy. I thought I was taking a week off to recover. Instead, I found…

Mar 19 • Holding Both - Maria Messer

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Leadership Without a Map

Leadership is often associated with certainty. But the most powerful leaders I know don’t eliminate uncertainty. They learn how to remain steady inside…

Mar 9 • Holding Both - Maria Messer

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February 2026

He Came Through the Doors

Two months ago, I watched my son walk through two metal doors and disappear from my sight. This week, I watched him run back through them. A reflection…

Feb 26 • Holding Both - Maria Messer

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Before There Was Language

Before there were diagnoses. Before there were therapy schedules. Before there were words for what is and what would come. There was only love. In this…

Feb 15 • Holding Both - Maria Messer

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Still Practicing Radical Acceptance

Radical acceptance keeps finding me—again and again. Not as a lightning bolt, but as a quiet practice of living inside what is. A reflection on grief…

Feb 8 • Holding Both - Maria Messer

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January 2026

Gratitude, Even Here

Holding gratitude in the midst of heartbreak and healing

Jan 30 • Holding Both - Maria Messer

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The Passenger Seat

We arrived at the hospital surrounded by police and chaos and realized—we were those parents. What followed was court paperwork, dark humor, unbearable…

Jan 18 • Holding Both - Maria Messer

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